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Thursday, January 31, 2013

Smelly good things

I didn't know what I got myself into until recently.
This is real bad.

Once upon a time... like couple weeks ago... I just needed a new toner and I don't know what to get.
I always like to try new things but I want to make sure it's not gonna harm my skin at the very least. Even though it may not help, it cannot be bad.
I don't stick with one because I don't usually have major skin problems, and I don't really see anything that effect my skin that much so there's no point of using the same one if it's not doing any major difference. I might as well find something that might give my skin major improvement like I used it and it start shining, or I turn into celebrity face(yea right, that's magic water)... or something...
I usually like to try things that's organic, or at least as chemical-free/alcohol-free/whatever-bad-thing-free as possible. AND it has to smell clean, or at least doesn't smell bad, I mean, I don't wanna walk around with stinky face, that's
anyhow, I did my research and this came up.

I read about this before somewhere else long time ago but for some reason it just didn't catch me.
This time I just decide to give it a try.
I made it and right away hesitant to used it. It smells, awful. Not like fetor but it's just unpleasant.
But then the good things they say about this was really really attractive.
Plus, I purposely spend money on it so I really don't wanna just dump it, what a waste.
I don't know why didn't I start with a little first so that at least if I didn't like it or it didn't work it won't feel like such a waste. Anyhow I didn't, I was being stupid and made a big amount of it, now I really have to use all of it, sigh.

This, turns out to be SO good that it's bad.
Now I have to walk around with stinky face, dang it.
Luckily stinks doesn't stay on for more than 1 minute literally.

I didn't see major difference again this time, at first. Was not disappointed and did not have much feelings about it. I guess I was just used to it. Even went on and bought an actual toner on the market.
I am glad I didn't give it up and continue using it with my new toner, or else I would have never knew.

Lately I was getting lazy, especially late at night I just wanna bump into my bed and start snoring. So I stop using the Smelly for awhile. Only for a couple of days though, and guess what, ACNE!!!! FOUR pop out of my chin and forehead, and I was like WHAT HAPPEN!!!
So obviously I went and think about what I did differently recently and realized that I stopped using my Smelly! In fact, I recalled how acne have not pop out on my face since I used Smelly. I used to always have one or two acne pop out once in a while but not since I used Smelly. So since then, I live happily ever after with Smelly. yup.

And Smelly is simply :

I know! It's so simple! And I was able to get it wrong! ya. so smart.

It's 1:3 ratio, 1 part apple cider vinegar, 3 part water.
Smart me for some reason thought that adds up to three and did 1 part vinegar and 2 parts water, almost burn my face open. Alright, maybe it's not THAT bad, but it's not good. It really did stings my face when I first put it on, so don't do that ever again!

The ratio doesn't have to be super super precise, it's just a guide and you can adjust later. After awhile of using it, I was able to tell if I added too much water or too much vinegar, and too much or too little might only mean 1 teaspoon more or 1 teaspoon less, you just need to feel it. Too much or too little both have their effect. If you literally put too much vinegar(like a cup less like me), it will stings and pain never means something good. If you only put a little too much vinegar, like a teaspoon or tbsp, then it might dry out your face. You know, something like that and so on.

Obviously not all DIY works for everyone so you'll just have to maybe try it out yourself or preferably ask your dermatologist. I can't tell you why exactly it's good (cause I can't remember), but you can definitely search it up it's all over the place so don't worry. My skin type is kind of dry-combination and it happens to work. Pecan's skin is oily and acne-prone, I was able to persuade him into using it lately. He didn't want to before cause of the smell, but even he was able to adapt to it. He is that kind of person who will not try anything smelly, no matter how amazing you tell him that thing is, he will not usually try it, so this must not be that bad. This winter weather always awakens his acne and so I make him used it and I can see his acne going away, in 2 days! I don't know if it's coincidence but I got back on continue using it and my acne went away too, and since then nothing new pops out.

I don't know but I'm gonna keep using it until it stops working, but hopefully it will never stops, or at least wait till when there is other superior cheap substitutes...Maybe then.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Me and the internet.

You know what's happening to me right now, like everyday?
I go on the internet, and because of business reasons(I work for my brother's company, kind of), I will go on Lookbook, my most favourite fashion site in the world(how surprisingly, created by Koreans.) Of course, I will check out their clothes. And then, I will find out where they get that specific item I like. And then, I will go to that website, and my struggle begins here.

It's like this endless stream of attraction towards me! (suffering face)
I will pick out a bunch of stuff, and it will end up being so super out of budget and I will end up struggling if I should get it.
My plan was always I'll pick all these stuff and at the cart I will remove some duplicates or unnecessary ones. Guess what? DOESN'T WORK!
I end up thinking,

"nooo, I need this one."

"nooo, this one is too pretty to give up."

"nooo, I have a black leggings but not like this so.."

"nooo, this is the trend right now."

like OH-MAI-GAWD! everything is everything I need! I can't remove anyone of them! Even though my total is now like $502.43. So much of saving money hey.

There's this ONE time, I like tell myself, I'll return them as soon as I saw them and/or if I think they don't fit me, yea, never happen(how surprising.)

You see why I mention avoid online shopping in my saving tips post. I'm telling ya, they are evil!

I came to a point where I decide to stop going on lookbook, but NO IT DOESN'T WORK! My brain can't stop thinking of those clothes. It's never ending! I already bought a bunch of stuff but it's never gonna be enough. Everytime I tell myself,

"this is ALL I need, I don't need anymore"

uh huh, NOT TRUE! As SOON as I landed on the website,

"I don't have a lot of sweater, I only have like 2"

"I don't have THIS specific kind of t-shirt, the cat on mine have blue eyes, this one have green"

"Oh-mai-gooooodness, 20% discount!"

I literally feel like I'm getting the shopaholic illness, the legit mental illness.

If you are wondering why this is happening.

All I do is stay home, and when you stay home you go find the "most evil". I want to go out too! Only if it's not -45 with windchill outside (cry face).
I went out when it's -35 windchill! See! But it's still TOO COLD!!
I even pick up workout! So that I could stay away from laptop a little while! See how much I'm trying here? You'll understand if you know how much I hate workout.

Reason no.2: It's Lunar New Year for everyone's sake!
Lunar New Year is the season to get new clothes for us Chinese! Even though I buy new clothes all year long but still!! I'm far away from home and buying clothes is the only way I can feel a little closer to this festive festival! Though all I get to do is window shopping, more like all I'm TRYING to do.

I did make a promise to myself that I will not spend money on MY clothing anymore, to save money! From this month on, cause last month didn't workout too well. Stop staring at me with your judging eyes! I will try again. Making it public,

I don't know, wish me luck! I need lots!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013


This is going to get really really corny. But oh well.

I always remind myself how different we are, as I often forget about that. I expect myself to be treated the way I think he should(if he cares) and I will end up thinking that he really doesn't care about me. But we are 2 totally different beings, I cannot and shouldn't expect the same thing from him, it might happen but most of the time it will just be, what I like to call, empty disappointment.
Empty disappointment are disappointments that are not contented. So my disappointments come from nothing. Example, I'm disappointed because he did not give me a kiss when he left. Essentially I'm disappointed because I think he doesn't care, because to me, if somebody loves you, he will want to kiss you. The truth is, he just don't think that action represents any of his love, he prefers to express it in other ways. And there I am feeling all disappointed, for nothing. Real disappointment in the other hand is when he really doesn't love you that much to kiss you, you are disappointed for the right thing and your disappointment is unfortunately contented. It's really hard to explain this but since it's my word, I understand it pretty well, yea.

Anyway, I always expect him to showcase his love towards me the way I want but he never does. I sometimes doubt myself about the thought of us being different, but as amazing as he is, he is always able to pull me back.

This year, he wanted to order a bunch of stuff from Korea for my birthday and I'm like NO! I don't wanna waste money on me anymore since I already did my new year shopping. But since he insist, I thought I'll get something but I still don't wanna pick things out. Back in my mind, I want him to pick for me, not like surprise me, just simply sitting beside me and tell me which one he had pick out. If I happen to like, it will show how much he cares and how much he knows about me. He didn't, he makes me pick stuff out myself. But even though so, when we went through the picking process together, I liked it. I like how we get to pick together, look at things together, especially when he hates shopping but he was willing to sit there hours scrolling down the screen, waiting for me to pick the stuff, I was really satisfied and happy. It makes me felt utterly bad, because I couldn't get him anything, I couldn't figure out what to get him. Sorry, P-can. (sorry face)

Finally when my stuff arrived, instead of just what I picked out, there is like surprised clothes that he picked out for me in the package too. If you don't know, I am not the surprise kind of person, so if somebody just randomly surprises me, it probably won't makes me super super happy. But then I know this is his way of expressing his love to me, and that feeling is indescribable, more than happy. Turns out, I really do love that piece so much, and he really does knows me well! I just need to acknowledge his way instead of making him follow my way. What's the point to make him do the things I think it is how it's suppose to be when he doesn't even feel the same?

I know I'm lucky. I really do and I appreciate every bits of it.

Saturday, January 19, 2013


Still in trial though.
I'm not like crazy cookie fan, I don't usually want them or miss them or like go crazy when I see one.
But since I saw it on BenjimanTV and his collaboration partner where they make chocolate chip cookie, I've been craving for some nice chewy good old chocolate chip cookie.
The thing is, I don't want to make a whole batch of buttery goodness because I KNOW ME TOO WELL. I will inhale all of them by myself all at once. ya, so much of dieting for Korea.

After some researching I am now trial-ing my way to the perfect chewy chocolate chip cookie that's healthy. I tend to forget what I did with recipes so I'm gonna try to remember by writing them down obviously, of my two trials. I refuse to call them fail!!! Because they taste amazing, just not chewy and i want the chewy cookies hence not fixing my craves (sad faces).

These boobies-looking cookies are my latest trial.
I will tell you why i shape them like that. Because I'm trying to crowd them all on one plate and the only way to do that is to make them big and since im using a ice cream scoop and I'm too lazy to reform them, I just put two scoop and stick them together. I know they don't spread much so I put them very close to each other. 
These are fudgy and chocolatey and really delicious.
I liked them but I probably used too much stevia or erythritol hence creating a weird aftertaste that I don't really like. These are definitely healthy though. Made with black beans and only 2 tbsp of refined sugar. I still add refined sugar into my cookie cause I don't have much faith in my other unrefined sugars yet. Healthy sugar substitutes are simply too expensive and I refuse to use them up so quickly. It's just too much for me to see my wallet hole grow bigger and bigger as I pour in the sugars. I'm sorry but, I really can't yet (cry face).

I put too little chocolate chip in these ones so the chocolate chip didn't end up the way I like them.
But because these have to be store in the fridge the chocolate chip did firm up so I can actually chew on some crispy bits which I really like. I am now considering storing all my chocolate chip cookies in the fridge for that reason.
Have to also trial on the problem if it's from stevia or erythritol. Most probably stevia because it really taste like the herb taste. It is known that Stevia doesn't act well in baking but erythritol is the one that leaves cooling sensation in your mouth, so I have to find that out. yay, more reasons to bake more batches of cookies!!! Don't worry I will give them away...maybe...
Will totally stop buying the one that cause problem to my cookies!!! I'm not mad at the sugar please, it's only because it's really expensive and there's no reason to buy food so expensive that I really don't like the taste of right? like "hey, this poop taste thing is expensive let's stock them up" ,
If it't not stevia, then I'll still have to find a tastier stevia because apparently one taste better than the other..... I don't really like the one I have right now. If it's stevia then I'm dropping it out of my pantry, if it's erythritol then hell I'm not buying that shit anymore! It's literally soooo expensive and it's not like stevia where I can find a better tasting one, they all taste the same. so, we'll see.

 I actually prefer these over the ones about in look(not because they don't look like boobs!). They look more like the one Benji and Bryon was making and THAT was the one I was craving for. These LOOK quite similar.
Taste wise, these doesn't have the weird aftertaste so I maybe prefer that more on this one. This one have just enough chocolate chip in them. I like to clearly identify the chocolate chips when I put them in my mouth but I can't do that with the fudgy ones because they are all so chocolatey. These ones though, because I didn't put any cocoa powder in the dough I can clearly taste the chocolate chip which gives me a different layer of taste and I really like that. Cocoa powder in the cookie dough is really overpowering and I can't taste the cookie and chocolate chip separately(dislike face). Conclusion, no cocoa powder in cookie dough and store them in fridge for crispy bits!
But this is one is not chewy nor fudgy, just light and stay slight crispy for the first few hours. Don't know what's the problem for that but I'll trial it out.

I forgot to sift my baking powder. Hence there was lumps of baking powder in my cookies (guilty face). Slap myself for laziness!
I'm really liking the 100% chocolate chip (that I cut up myself, with little 100% cocoa chocolate baking wafers). It is uber bitter when you eat it plain but since I got used to the pure chocolate, I'm really okay with them now, like I can actually eat plain 100% chocolate with no problem (other than it's too rich I can't inhale a bunch of them at once). In fact, I really like them! It's something I can't explain it to you but I really like how the chocolate stays on my taste palette and lingers. I've always been really adaptable with bitterness so it's really easy for me. But I know many people can't take it (Pecan absolutely hate it). So since I will still always love sweet things and Pecan will always have sweet tooth, why not make them into cookies right? Now everybody can have some sweet boost of antioxidants.
You can't taste the bitterness once they are incorporated into cookie (or probably any kind of pastry), but the amazing chocolate taste will lingers like it will when it was by itself. So it's definitely a win-win. I didn't even have to make the dough too sweet, the slight sweetness was all too good enough.
The melting chocolate was so tempting when they come out from the oven I almost can't wait for it too cool down, but I managed, don't worry. Eating warm desserts are apparently sins, just in case I  you don't know.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

this is for my dad.

Healthy food is really really expensive. I'm choking at the moment of typing this down. Why? Cause I miss my money. But like I said, I won't sacrifice anything for health, and I certainly (most importantly) don't want to add anymore to my waistline. So, some painful shopping I did.

IF these stuff last long enough though, m..maybe...I'll feel better... hopefully. Maybe I'll forget the fact that I was broke for 2 weeks because of health, and the fact that I have to give up a nice quality cast iron pan for that, and the fact that I have to give up a really nice coat I really like for that, and the fact that I'm here crying just because of the regretting feeling of choosing health over...wealth(more like shoes and clothes.)

It's been such a hit over the health blogs lately. Almost like a must have for a healthy lifestyle.
In fact, my "research" shows, they ARE very good for you. I don't even remember how is it actually helps but it IS the superfood of the year. Not rumored, it actually is, I promise. I just don't have the brain to memorized the health benefits and all the vitamins listed, don't judge!
Definitely on the luxury side though, 1kg for almost 28 dollar with tax. See, half of my coat gone.

I believe everyone knows about this, the famous extra virgin olive oil. Well-known for it's high antioxidants(and other health benefits that I don't remember). It is cheaper here than back at home but still expensive. The other half of my coat gone.

I have to get this! It is apparently very very good for your skin *ding ding ding!
obviously healthy but for a lady like me, what's more to care of than skin (don't try to give me a list, I know okay). But oil that's good for health AND skin? definitely a must buy right?
In fact, this can be made into like body bars so it's a bonus, yay!
Trying to cut out butter as it's the ultimate unhealthy fat so I'll need a substitute and the most coconut oil is it!

I think it's a grain? that's not full of carb. Essential for the on-diet me. Still trying to figure out a good use of it and trying to fall in love with it. It's full of protein and again, other health benefits. Trying to find a way to sub this for rice in my meals but you know, I cook for a rice eater too so it's hard. sigh. These men are so hard to please. sigh.

I know what you're thinking, but no. This is cacao nibs which is the antioxidant bitter part of chocolate. Almost like the 99% chocolate I bought. Again, very good for you and still trying to figure out some way to incorporate this to my diet. The reason why I can't is, it's because it's expensive and only have a little in there. It's actually a really small bag! I don't wanna finish it in a blink of eye and have to use another pair of shoes to buy a new bag of these. (stingy Asian face) I'm trying my best not to open it while trying my best to find ways for it to come into my diet... not sure how that works but...ya. did this show up here? BAD FOR YOU. DO NOT EAT THIS AT ANYTIME. Super fattening and unhealthy and buttery...and marshmellowey...and delicious...I mean evil!!! Go away wagon wheel babies devil!

Seeeee, my dear nag-so-much-and-always-worry daddy, I'm really trying to take good care of myself here. As you were wondering why do I always need so much money? Here is the reason why. HEALTHY FOODS ARE ALL WAY TOO EXPENSIVE!!!
( I didn't pay for Wagon wheel, my Mr. Pecan did!!! I only have 2 of them...maybe 3...)
I love your daughter as much as you do please!
If he ever sees this, hope he'll understand why am I always running out of money. sigh.

Yes dad, I know I know. I understand that I need to work hard so that I can earn money and really live healthy cause healthy is expensive. yes yes yes................. *daddy continues his daily worry talk

Friday, January 11, 2013

Healthy Crackers

About a week ago, I made some hummus. Even though I don't have the best food processor I went ahead and make it anyway. Not the best idea as my blender almost died at the spot. Sorry baby of the kitchen. It took about 15 minutes to get it to become "chunky", not simply because I like it chunky but because I can't afford to hurt my little blender anymore and I don't think it can go any further, poor blender. Luckily though, I do love chunky everything, chunky peanut butter, almond butter, cashew butter, mashed potatoes, just almost everything I think. At least I can't think of anything right now that should not be chunky in my opinion. Even SMOOTHie should be chunky, so you know it's made from real fruits, yeah.

Anyway, enough said about my hummus, that's not my point. I made hummus and I feel like I need to eat it with something. Yup, just another excuse for me to make something and try new recipe out of my kitchen, as if you really need something to dip in that chunky lovely hummus. You really should not eat it from the spoon, and finish it in a day. Like I never did.

So crackers are needed. Crackers for hummus, never goes wrong. BUT! I'm really trying to get back in normal size now and all the whatever-delicious-buttery crackers out there on the market is really a no-no for me. So I have to make something healthy and delicious which I thought is impossible(delicious cracker that's suppose to be stuffed with butter and health? not sure about that) before I found these and  yup, we got a winner!!!

I don't have most of the things on the list of ingredients in my pantry that time so I change the recipe myself so maybe I can too, very cool-ly call it my recipe inspired by that recipe? it's just a little dream of mine(I have my own recipe ohmygahhhhd) so don't break it (sob) even though I know it doesn't work like that.
ANYWAY, flax seeds are amazing binder so it's gonna work no matter what as long as you have that, I believe.

It is so flavorful and most importantly CRISPY LIKE A CRAKER!! yay! just water and some seeds. Isn't that amazing?

That little triangle that disappear is in my tummy when I take this, OBVIOUSLY. Surprisingly crispy so I'm definitely making these again.

Oh so healthy :)

Friday, January 4, 2013

Hi School days

It's the annoying school season.
I hate school season, for obvious reason. Cause I'm a student?!

I don't know if I should call myself a morning person because I love mornings. Like LOVE mornings.
I love waking up early feeling like I have time. I love the bright sun, clean air, breakfast, everything about mornings.
Then what's the problem?
Well, the problem is, I slept in. All day everyday, during the holiday season.
I want to wake up and I had sheets to do. But I never could wake up, yes, because I wouldn't go sleep early. Sigh.
Don't call me an not-morning person because I really really like mornings.>.<

Anyway, did I mention breakfast and how much I love them?
It's the most important meal of the day and it's the only meal of the day where you can EAT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN!!! oh-emm-gee. yes.
We are talking about a healthy lifestyle here. Not pig-out. Even though I do so most of the time.
Don't worry, It's all gonna digest throughout the day and it's gonna make your day full of energy.
And if you wake up early, you can have numerous breakfast!! oh yeah.
In fact, it is good that you eat more meals but less every meal.
Just imagine yourself working in a store, do you prefer a smaller amount of customer that you can handle coming in frequently or a hugeeee amount of customer coming in all of a sudden once every couple of hours? For me, former. Same for your tummy too.
With that your tummy stay flat all day! Unless you already have like a huge tummy like me. Oops.
Apparently normally people tend to eat less during lunch and dinner when they have a good amount of breakfast, which they should.

Enough health talk.

We were talking about breakfast.
One of my favourite breakfast item, GRANOLA!

These are in the oven right now baking their nuts off. and by nuts I mean walnuts and almond nuts okay?

Homemade are always, ALWAYS better. Taste better, look better, smell even better!
It smells like coconut heaven in here since mine have some shredded coconut and healthy coconut oil in there.

I like raisins, even my daddy knows that.

Now mix everything and tummy in they go!

Why I love granola?
You make them in batches and once you're done, for dayss you don't have to wake up 30 mins earlier to make breakfast with eyes closed. 30 minutes more sleep? Oh yea.